BMW pre and post Bangle

BMW has just launched the new 5 Series in India, so we guys got talking about things BMW. Chris Bangle. Oh no, please; be quiet. Give me a bit of a moment, people. Let me at least speak a little. This is how hard I had to try and talk about BMW. Yes, it was not Bangle I wanted to talk about, but about BMW. However, the one thing I did wrong was, start with the iniquitous-for-many ex-designer at BMW. We were just sitting – an Aston Martin supporter, a Mercedes buff and me – a guy who has a viewpoint for everything, every auto-maker. I don’t quite have a favourite. No, seriously, I don’t. I like Ferraris. I like them in the same breath as I like Lamborghinis. All cars are equal for me. Well, almost. Some are more equal than others. But I have no favourite. Oh, I am deviating from the point. Again.

Alright, so it was a very high-pitched, very opinionated three-way argument – against Bangle and neutral. The third dimension was that of Alfa Romeos and Aston Martins. I don’t understand why Bangle is criticized so furiously? He played around with radical design ideas and gave us ‘flame surfaces’ – whatever made him come up with that name – but at least the guy had balls to think beyond the ordinary. And the world has followed. That’s why we see conservative designs getting a complete makeover and getting massive front and heavy arsed treatments. Look at Audi! 

I completely adored the BMW 5 Series that he worked on. That had a certain character, a definitive design theme that made it look different and immediately identifiable. It was much better than its nearest rival – Mercedes E Class. And so I fought in support of the 3 Series as well as the 7 Series until the X6 came up. The BMW X6 is a hideous design, I think. Why do you need a SUV that’s just no good when you already have a pseudo-SUV – the X5 – doing business? It just did not make sense to me. If BMW wanted to do 'something different', doing a hardcore 4x4 – much like the Land Cruiser or Defender – would’ve been a better decision I think. Them who've driven it, you have to accept, the X5 just isn’t a proper off-road vehicle.


Anyway, I accept X6 is not something I would immediately smile at. It wasn’t really a bad design overall, but it was unnecessary. It’s uncool because BMW just wanted to make something stylish, but rubbish. It was a design to perhaps pamper their ego. But after this, Chris Bangle walked out of BMW’s gate and the world rejoiced. I was sure that BMW would go back to understated designs and was actually eager to see what the German company would offer next. I secretly wanted BMW to build a mechanical equivalent of a sultry, sensuous Venezuelan lady.

A few months later, the new 5 Series GT was announced. Now, I must give you a few examples of proper grand touring cars – Ferrari 599, McLaren Mercedes SLR, all of the Aston Martins, Maserati Gran Tourismo and a whole lot of other gorgeous ones. So now you know where this is heading. The BMW 5 Series Gran Tourismo, being a GT car, will be gorgeous, I thought. Would my secret fantasy finally become a reality? No. It wasn’t just meant to happen.

BMW designers put a hydraulic press on top of the X6 and, voila, there you have it – the BMW 5 Series Gran Tourismo! How stupidly unimaginative thing to do. It not only looks strangely odd, but it looks ugly. What BMW gave the world was a confused design that could not really decide whether it was a hatchback, estate, notchback or a simple saloon car instead. Or so it appears to be. Naming it GT just got our expectations flying high. I really wouldn’t mind it looking strange, but it looks horrid. You did not even have Bangle to blame there, what happened BMW?

And then there is the new 5 Series. Looks like BMW no longer cares for its products’ design. The 5 Series is so toned down that you would not even notice it. The 7 Series, too, does not look as subtle as the Bangled one. The kidney grille looks like a desperate effort to make it look ostentatious. But it just does not work. The only saving grace has been the Gran Coupe Concept shown at the 201 China Motor Show. But that is still a concept and I can only pray that BMW’s production model looks similar to the concept.

The point is, Bangle is long gone, but the designs coming out still don’t have an effect as profound as the ones done by Bangle – what he did was, give his signature to every design he created. What he did was give an element of individuality to BMWs. Now though, BMWs are getting back to being sober – not to drive, but to look at. Add some dynamism guys, come on!